Mommie Dearest.
[shopping for a Father’s Day card]
Mom: How about this one! It’s sweet.
Me: [read it, not overly schmaltzy, but it’s gaggy] That makes me want to barf. I would never get him that.
Mom: It’s nice!
Me: It is. But I would never get Dad that card.
Mom: Well you could, I don’t know… Get a new personality.
Me: [dead]
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